Gentle Breath

Let’s set the tone: Anxiety and depression take center stage here. This is the type of depression that makes you start to forget if you actually ate that day or if you even went outside. The depression that makes you feel like you’re angry and sad simultaneously at nothing and everything. And all the things that you used to enjoy doing suddenly feel colorless and more like chores than anything else. We’re also talking about burnout. Classic burnout from overexertion, when you realized you needed a break a year ago but kept going. And the anxiety you feel is about everything and nothing all at the same time, keeping you from sleeping at night and making you exhausted during the day - you exist within the haze of a chaotic mind that will not let you be. You look at the tasks you have ahead and wonder how you’ll ever find the energy to possibly do them. A mountain you have to climb with no water, a broken leg and a bandaged arm. You start to picture yourself escaping. But where? And how?

These were the feelings I had when I first started working on what became the “Gentle Breath” sessions. 

I had no energy at all to do it. In fact, I didn’t even want to begin because I knew how much work is required to make a record worth sharing. 

But little by little, I began taking those steps up the mountain. Because even with a broken leg and a bandaged arm you can make progress - sure, it’ll be a lot slower and less efficient. But you’re still moving forward. And so that’s what I did - each day, just a little step towards the light. I tried not to place any pressure on myself to actually make anything or to complete it, which actually had an entirely wonderful and freeing effect on the process. 

The small steps soon became a trot, and then before I even realized it, I was back running again. Soon, I took a breather and looked back at the project and realized that I had actually documented my entire journey of pulling myself out of my own depression. “Gentle Breath” is a journal in that way, it captured my lowest point to a higher point - taking the listener on that journey. 

I had been calling the record “dark” - but I don’t think that’s really accurate - I think it’s more than dark, it’s complex and dense. It’s layers of emotions compressed into digital artifacts. It’s sadness and tears pressed into the keys of the synths. Anger and anxiety in the hands that turned the knobs of the modular rack and filters. The record is entirely human made with machines. Most importantly, this record is me. 

While listening back to the finished mixes, I could feel the pit in my stomach form when the first track began and by the end, I felt relaxed and at ease. Almost as though I had just had a full-body cry. And so, how could I possibly be upset at the journey? The journey is ongoing and is so many things, but mostly, it’s beautiful. 

It is recommended you place on headphones and listen while in a darkened and quiet room. 

Closing your eyes may result in occasional inner journeying, this is intentional. 

Thank you for listening and being here.

TJ Dumser [Six Missing] - Moog Synthesizers, pianos, modular synths, guitars, field recordings, effect processing, arrangements, stereo mix + mastering engineer

Kyle Mangels - Atmos mix + mastering engineer

Jamin Tasker - Creative Direction/Animation

“Gentle Breath” is the third release from Six Missing on Nettwerk. 

Album Art and Design by: TJ Dumser

Recorded and mixed in various states during the summer months of 2023 and then again during the spring of 2024 at Cabin in the Woods Music, Austin, TX. 

Special thanks: Hanna and Nala - my two best friends, Tom and Terri, Kelly and Evan, Kathy and Bill, Maureen + Doggos, Pat and Dick, Phyllis and Bernie, Jeremy and Courtney, and too many others. My friends and family, you mean so much to me - thank you for all the texts and messages, rough mix checking, and brainstorming. Additional thanks: Chase Bliss, Hologram Electronics, Soma Labs, Moog Music, Meris, Walrus Audio, and Make Noise Music, amongst many others. Moog Music has had a profound impact on the sonic direction of this record, thank you Bob. And thank you to Brady and the entire Nettwerk gang, your support has meant the world to me. 

Finally, thank you to seasonal depression for the spurts of manic creative energy, I truly could not have done this without you.